Psycho Magnet

I attract psychos.

Exhibit A: The Lebanese In-N-Out employee I dated for a month in high school. And by dated, I mean "made out in his Tonka Truck while parked on a hill behind a golf course". It was terribly romantic, especially because I wouldn't let him under my clothes. He went on to be a pool cleaner. WINNER.

Exhibit B: The guy who asked me if I worked for NASA, because if I did (and try to keep up with this logic train here) I could be the stars and he could be the Big Dipper. WINNER.

Exhibit C: Beigesauce who pushed me off a chair when his favorite football team scored a touchdown. GEM.

Exhibit D: Guy in Starbucks who, despite my repeated utterances of "I'm actually just trying to study, I can't really talk right now," proceeded to tell me about how he's cleaned up his life, gotten back on track at DeVry, and how smart I look. POTENTIAL MATE.

I really hope they never stop finding me.